bonjour family

my name is runfine

Our website & blog has moved: BONJOURS.NET

Last night Tracie and I were talking further about the things that we are thankful for. For some reason, I was reminded of a time of prayer I had with Greg in the morning and how thankful I was for him and the rest of my friends. So here is my list of mates that I am thankful for in Madison:

Greg: His tranceparency and pursuit of God always challenges me to dig deeper.
Michael: I love talking with Michael about life, family, God, and all that is contained in those topics.
Dave: Could easily be my Technology Sensei! I am constantly learning from Dave and always inspired by seeing how certain he is of his role in the Kingdom of God.
David: Is my old-school friend. We have been through a lot together. I love just hanging out with him, enjoying his energy, and loving his passion to learn and to teach.
Manuel: He is just my boy. We didn’t really click in the beginning, but now
John: We just seem to be on the same page all the time. I love talking shop with this guy.

Thanks G!

By Tracie

Soooo….

I was on my way back from the newly opened and much anticipated Trader Joe’s. It is the first one in Madison and if you have not been to one you are missing out. The sauces! The jams! The chocolates! The samples!!! I was picking up a few things for Thanksgiving dinner because we’re having some friends over for the special day. I got to thinking after I drove off with a sample in my belly of bagel spread with pumpkin butter and cream cheese. I really have so much to be thankful for. This holiday tends to stress most people out, especially if you have a lot of family to entertain on that last Thursday of the month. For some of us we’d rather order the pies from Denny’s or Perkins rather than bake 7 pies, all different flavors. And then there is waking up at o’dark thirty to put a huge bird in the over…unless you’re a vegetarian. Then it’s more like your oat loaf or your lentil pate. Yummy! Some folks are glad when the day is finally over.

For others Thanksgiving is a time when they are all the more painfully reminded of just how alone they are. Nothing highlights loneliness and isolation more than a national holiday devoted to getting family and friends together. Speaking of Denny’s and pies, I actually remember pulling up to a Denny’s on Thanksgiving a few years ago and I parked the car just to see who was inside. There were quite a lot of people sitting alone in their booth! Man!

This is our first year together as a family of four and this past year Matt and I are realizing more the importance of family and the raw power that it holds to bring people in communities together. But more on that in another email. I guess this is all to say that I am so thankful for family and friends. I’m thankful that we don’t celebrate one another just once a year on “turkey day”. How did it resort to that? As a teenager I couldn’t wait until dinner was over so that I could finally hang out with my friends. Now I’m older, have my own family and I realize that this is such a holiday of celebration. God gives life, grace, hope, family, friends, gifts, joy, and plenty. Yes, plenty. I was teaching in Hawaii a few years ago (before children) and my friend said that his son was in a prayer time with him, praying to God and saying, “God is good to us. He just wants to give his kids good toys”. Out of the mouth of babes….How profound they can be! I believe it though. God is good to His kids and He wants to give freely to us.

Enjoy what He has given you this year. I want to share just a small list of what I’m thankful for. If you want to post a comment with your own list I would LOVE to read it.

Happy Thanksgiving

Tracie

I am thankful for:

Matthias

Chloe

Olivier

My sense of humor

My house

A car that runs well

I knew Francine

Fondue

Truffles

My mother and brother

My life with YWAM

Living in Madison

Our friends all over the world

The nations I have traveled to

Our church and how much they support us in what we do

Claude, Marie and John, Sam and Beth (plus Adi and Emma)

This year is Cyprus, UK and Switzerland

Trader Joe’s

By Tracie Bonjour

I found this quote by the great Henri Nouwen through a wonderful blog, written by an expectant father.

http://expectant.wordpress.com/

“There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy but that, even in the most happy moments of our existence, we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of the limitations. In every success, there is the fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is knowledge of surrounding darkness…When you touch the hand of a returning friend, you already know that he will have to leave you again. When you are moved by the quiet vastness of a sun-covered ocean, you miss the friend who cannot see the same. Joy and sadness are born at the same time, both arising from such deep places in your hear that you can’t find words to capture your complex emotions” (Nouwen, The Dance of Life, pp.124-25)

We were out to lunch with some friends from church and I was joking around asking them if they knew anyone with a scooter that I could use to “scoot” to work and back (since I try to leave the car to Tracie as much as possible). They had a funny look on their faces and said “we don’t know anything about scooters, but we do have a car you could use! The insurance is all taken care of, all you will have to pay is gas!”

Isn’t that crazy! So they dropped off a 1992 Honda Civic Coupe that night and I was able to take it to work the next morning. What a blessing! It is also stick shift, so that makes it economical and fun!

post by Matthias

By Matthias

A week has passed. So far everything is going well.

Chloe: Her face is changing, it is becoming more her, and less “small alien that just squeezed out of Tracie’s tummy!” Because of this she is getting cuter and cuter everyday. She is still sleeping alot, and pooing alot. She seems to enjoy pooing during the night, which is fun for tracie and I. On thursday she had her second bath; her first one at home, and she didn’t enjoy it all that much. She is very calm, cries a little right when we are trying to go to bed. Apart from that she is feeding well and Tracie has no complaints.

Olivier: It would appear that Olivier is transitioning into the (i hate to say it) “terrible twos” stage. A few days after we got home he started to push boundaries and buttons in a new and ferocious way! To be frank, he was driving me ca-razy! There were a few nights when we had to put him down early, we just couldn’t handle being around him any more. I hear, to my relief, that these kinds of emotions are completely normal for a parent - otherwise I would be racked with guilt! It has been nice to be home and to be able to spend time with him. He is still working out who this new baby is! He hasn’t quite mastered the art of being gentle and seems to enjoy offering his ’sucker’ (pacifier) or his juice to her.

Tracie: She’s tired and sore. A week later her muscles still ache! Labour is like a whole day’s workout squeezed into a few hours - talk about a workout. She is so relieved that feeding has been going well, Chloe is a lot easier than with Olivier. Her nights are a continual interruption, despite my helping. I am pretty sure she has enjoyed my taking care of her. I don’t think she’s left the house since last weekend. We’ll head out today.

Matthias: I tried to squeeze in a day of “money” work yesterday. Our monthly support doesn’t cover all of our bills, so I have been doing remodelling work on the side to help. I missed quite a few days a result of the labour and this baby, and our financial situation was dire. We were just about able to make our mortgage payment this month, which was a blessing. In a week or so, I shall return to work full-time. It will be an interesting transition time!

Got a Baby: Chloe Amelia Bonjour.
Weight: 8lbs 15oz (4kg)
Appearance: Beautiful!

For Pics and for Vids

Tracie did an amazing job. Her water was broken at 2pm. At 3:30 she was having very heavy contractions, and then at 5:20pm on Oct 4th, 2006, Chloe was born. There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

By Tracie

They come in all shapes and sizes. They come with a message whether spoken or lived. They come with confidence and weaknesses, strength and insecurities. I am becoming more and more impressed with the challenges that women in any given society today have to overcome and the lengths they will go to push through the barriers.

Now that I have birthed one child so far my respect for women/mothers has multiplied. Oh the things that we are capable of! I have great adoration for any woman who will live a message of integrity while breaking the cultural ideals of beauty and desire. This takes a lot of confidence in the face of misunderstanding. They will likely be labeled a feminist, a dyke, a ball buster, or just plain ugly. They will have to overcome obstacles of ostracism and rejection but the path they pave for our sons and daughters will be even more tilled and plowed tomorrow than it was yesterday.

Here is one woman who made an impression on me…

She has gentle mocha skin, full, glossy lips and an Afrocentric flow with her colourful skirt that brushes the floor. She sings of dignity and strength, God and summertime. Her lyrics refer to angels watching over us and she lovingly pays homage to Nelson Mandela. She belts a bit like Lauren Hill and asks that you do not define her by her outward appearance, “I am not my hair”. Her music makes you proud of her. Proud that she is a woman of confident beauty and stunning looks who has not used her “goods” to turn a profit in the industry. She may not be your style but take a listen. This is my support for women of integrity. They are everywhere and I am excited to promote and support them.

Listen to NPR’s interview with India Arie.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5565789

Visit her website: http://www.indiaarie.com/

I just bought her CD and it’s great!

Snug as a bug. She must be so cozy inside of her little space. Soon she’s going to have to show herself. Do you know that funny saying, “this is your space and this (draw an invisible force-field around yourself) is my space”. In pregnancy this just doesn’t apply. Your space is constantly shared by another in a way closer than any spouse will ever wish to be. She has been “hogging” my space for the last four months or so. Kicking is an understatement. It implies a bit of a jerky movement with a small sort of force. This kid is about as stretched out as a beachcomber on a grass mat who is vacationing for a spell on the Big Island. I can sometimes picture her sprawled out on a baby towel with her arms behind her head in that “lounging” position just smiling at how comfy and relaxed she feels. Meanwhile I still can’t bend over and tie my shoes without grunting as if I’m in my late 60’s and the ol’ bod just isn’t what it use to be.

Now the countdown has begun and she could really arrive at any moment. Apart from the thoughts of going into labor, I have been trying so hard to consider what it will be like to have two children in our home. To be a family of four rather than three. I still feel like such a kid rather than an adult so how on earth I became a mother and homeowner are just as much a surprise to me as they may be to you.

Don’t get me wrong, I love our family, our life, our home decor and even our icky garden that will someday be a wee little harvest field. (sustainable living here we come!) But I still feel like Matt and I are these kids that get to play with colors on someone else’s walls and that all of the work we are doing on our home is really just for the landlord to enjoy after we move out. Or that we get to play with this cute kid who refers to us as mama and papa but we eventually need to give him back to his crabby parents when he turns two. This seems like the perfect time to give a child away if you are ever going to. Nothing has really made me feel very “adult” yet. Even when I meet a woman who is a bit older than me and has only had one child or is just pregnant for the first time, I still feel like her junior rather than a woman who has been through something she hasn’t yet.

I hope to hold onto this reality for as long as I can. I have fears of coming to that slightly pompous position where I feel more experienced, well rounded, more traveled, more educated of a person who has little to learn because life has “taught them so much already”. I have always loved learning. I ask tons of questions. In my life journey answers always have more “whys” to them and I don’t like simple answers that are devoid of true understanding.

My life, my space, has taught me so much about motherhood, responsibility, patience- Oh God give me patience! (Do all little boys have this much energy? Why would anyone draw on the couch rather than a piece of paper? Paper is just fine. What’s wrong with paper I ask?). I have not yet perfected the knowledge of love but I am learning of a love that gives rather than expects, as well as the expedient need for me to choose to enjoy my life rather than stress over it. (How is it possible that life can be so amazing but we can feel so sad inside?)

Yet I want to learn more. I long to blossom into one of those women who smile knowingly while everything around them seems to be falling apart. It’s as if they know inside that “this too shall pass”. Life is so short to spend the days crumbling to pieces. Our space is so limited. We have to share it. We have to give it away and occasionally we even have to clean it. If you’re like me you feel the insatiable need to scour it ever other day. How do crumbs gather so quickly? I envy women that talk about how they have given up on trying to keep things clean and orderly all the time. It must be so nice to be peaceful, cluttery and cheery. Meanwhile I cannot seem to ignore the fact that dust collects even on windowsills. What can I say? I am what I am.

My space is something that I really do treasure. I treasure the gift of life, even if sometimes I just feel “done” with it…the way a turkey might be “done” cooking or a marathon running is “done” with the race after his 26th mile. Have you ever seen the look on his face? He is definitely done! However, if at times I feel done and ready to give up the ghost, as they say, I treasure the joy of motherhood and being a wife and I really don’t want to leave just yet.

I even treasure our home space and the colors we have painted the walls. The work we’ve put into the old and cozy home has been years worth in just seven months. I love every curtain I have sewn in this house and every loaf of bread I’ve baked, party I’ve hosted, batch of yogurt I have cooked and even every plant I have placed in the ground of our dirt patch that I like to call “our garden”. I love our space! Our space is gently filling up as we enter into (or is it more like being thrust into?) this new phase of life. Going from three people to four really is a big deal (not like winning the $315 million lottery is a big deal, but better than getting given a free couch from a friend who is upgrading). It still changes everything. It completely changes your space. Your life!
Soon I’ll have aspects of my space back to myself again. She’ll be removed from her cozy and weightless (not my weight obviously) abode where she will begin to breath through her mouth rather than her belly button (this still blows my mind), and I will see her face for the first time. I can finally say, “So you’re who has been head down in my pelvis for the past few weeks making it almost impossible to walk two city blocks? You’re the one who made turning over in the middle of the night as impossible as parallel parking a Chevy Impala in the UK? You’re the one who turned my legs from a firm, muscle mass into squishy, wobbly bits? You’re the one I have waited so long to see? Welcome, my precious. Welcome to your new space.”